The One Million Dollar Woman
by JenFromTheRing
Summary: Ross's marriage to Emily has just broken up, he's been evicted and now he's broke. Then Chandler has a really bright idea and it involves... getting Emily back! Ch 6 The plan works but Emily has crucial news The End
1. Chapter 1

Part 1 

Joey came in and almost tripped over a box. He was about to say something about how annoying it was to have Ross's boxes all over the place. If it had just been Chandler in the room they would have had another session of complaining about Ross and puzzling out how they were going to get rid of him in a nice and friendly. But Ross was sitting over on the couch, looking miserable. That was the only look he did these days. 

'Hey,' Joey said, biting back the words he was going to say. He exchanged a look with Chandler who knew exactly what he had been about to say. Chandler said, 'Hey.' Ross looked up belatedly and said,

'Hi Joey.'

'Hi Ross, how are you doing?' Joey said, with excessive cheerfulness. 'It's so good to see you looking so well.'

'Oh well,' Ross said, 'You know now it is, after your marriage ends. I know really well of course, because this is the second time this has happened to me.'

'Well I'm never getting married,' Joey said.

'It should be all right for you,' Ross said, 'It's just me. I'm the one who can't stay married.'

'Hey Ross,' Chandler said, 'Don't say things like that. It's not your fault. Those women.'

'Yeah, those women,' Joey added.

'I mean Carol, that's just the way she was,' Chandler said, 'And Emily, well, you rushed a bit quickly into that one.' Ross still looked despondent. The cheering up attempt was a failure. Joey sighed.

'It's a pity in a way that things didn't work out with you and Emily.' Chandler stared at him.

'But you hate Emily.' Ross didn't bother looking up at all. He hated speculating about Emily. She was gone and his life was a wreck. Two divorces!

'Yeah I know,' Joey said, and then noticed Ross, whose head was still down. 'I mean I was mad at her before because of all her demands and every thing, but I don't hate her. She's got her good points. She's a good kisser.' That was the wrong thing to say too.

'What's this all about Joe?' Chandler asked.

'Well it's just that if she was coming here, in the next two weeks, she might be the one millionth person through on a British passport.'

'And?' Chandler asked.

'Well that person's going to get one million dollars. There's going to be a big promotion for British tourism. Of course pounds would be better but a million dollars sounds good too.'

'Wow,' Chandler said. He looked at Ross. Even a small share in a million dollar would help him out a lot. 'How do you know this?'

'Oh you remember that girl I saw at British Airways six months back?'

'Give me a break Joe,' Chandler said, 'That could be anyone.' As if he could remember every girl Joey had ever dated. Joey shrugged.

'Oh yeah, true, I don't think I ever introduced her. Anyway, I met a friend of hers, he told me.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah, because if she was going to come in the next two weeks, he could fix it that she was the one to win.'

'You're not serious?' Chandler asked in amazement.

'Yeah, he really said that. If he got a cut of it, $10,000, he'd arrange it. The winning person can't be related to anyone who works at the airport you see so he can't just get his sister or someone to fly in. And they have to be British, that's the point.'

'Oh,' Chander said. 'Well Emily's never going to come so we can forget that.'

'Yeah.'

'Unless...' Chandler thought out loud. Ross was their friend but they really had to do something about him. 'Ross could persuade her.'

'How?' Joey asked, 'She won't come.'

'My marriage is over,' Ross said dolefully. 'Don't you understand? I'm the divorced person.'

'Even if she came and won the money she wouldn't give Ross any of it,' Joey said. 'She's mad at him.'

'But she'd have to,' Chandler said.

'No she wouldn't,' Joey said.

'Think, Joey think, what happens when you get divorced?' Chandler asked patiently.

'You give the rings back?' Joey asked.

'Divorce _Settlement,_ Joey. It didn't matter before because she's got no money and Ross has no money but if she suddenly gets one million dollars while she's still married to Ross, well she's going to have to share, whether she likes it or not,' Chandler said. 'Ross could pay off your friend out of his share.'

'Brilliant,' Joey said, awed. Chandler smiled.

'Well it's not a bad idea.' A very good idea he thought.

'It's a great idea,' Joey said.

'It's a terrible idea. How could I take money from Emily?' Ross said. 'She doesn't have any more money than I do. Probably less.'

'Look, she's going to have a lot more money than you. It will be a million dollars she just wins, just by turning up. It isn't going to be money she's earned or made sacrifices for. She's just going to jump on a plane,' Chandler said. 'She's not going to starve because she has to give you a bit.'

'It's a win win situation,' Joey said. 'Everyone would be happy.' Emily would have money, Ross would have money for a deposit on an apartment and he and Chandler could have the flat back. He could see no flaw in it.

'If I could get her back, I would,' Ross said, 'I don't need a million dollars to make me want to do that.'

'Yes, but she won't trust you,' Chandler said.

'So I'm never going to get her back,' Ross said, 'I don't know wny you're torturing me like this. I'm going out.' Ross stood up to leave.

'No, no,' Chandler said, 'Sit down. Just listen. If you told her that you were going to stop seeing Rachel - in fact if you told her you weren't going to see any of us ever again, and that you've got an apartment away from us all, do you think she'd come?'

'Yes but I can't say that because it's not true,' Ross objected.

'Yes but suppose if,' Chandler persisted. 'Think outside the box.'

'I - I don't know. but Chandler -'

'So you ring her up and say all that and beg her to come,' Chandler said.

'Yes but Chandler, none of that's true,' Ross said. 'That would all be lies.'

'Yes but she won't know that will she?' Chandler said. Ross frowned.

'Then she gets here and finds out that it's a lie she's going to be so angry and upset,' Ross argued.

'She's just won a million dollars, she's not going to be that unhappy,' Chandler said.

'Anyway,' Joey said, 'The point is, she'll have won and so will you.'

'She'll get mad at me,' Ross said.

'We won't let her hit you,' Joey said. Ross shook his head.

'I don't want to tell lies to her. She already doesn't trust me. She'll just think that this proves that she was right all along. '

'Ross,' Chandler said seriously, 'Your marriage is over.'

'Yes Chandler, I think about it every day,' Ross said irritably. Did his friends think he could forget that?

'So it doesn't matter what she thinks of you does it?'

'I suppose it doesn't.'

'So you'll give her a call?' Ross sighed. Joey and Chandler had to wait a whole minute for his answer.

'Okay.'


	2. Chapter 2

'Okay then,' Chandler said. 'What's her number?'

'What you mean? You want me to call her right now?' Ross asked surprised. 'I don't want to call her now.' He just wasn't ready for the idea that he'd be speaking to her.

'Of course you have to call her now,' Joey said, 'She's got to agree to come in the next two weeks, so if you've got to persuade her, you'll need all the time you can get.'

'That's right,' Chandler said. Ross sighed, took out his notebook and gave Chandler the number.

'She mightn't even be there. You know Emily, she could be anywhere, especially not the place you happen to be looking for her,' Ross said. He hoped so. He needed time to prepare himself. Chandler ignored him and handed him the receiver. An English voice said,

'Hello?'

'Emily, it's me, Ross.' For a moment he wondered if she was going to hang up on him.

'Oh Ross,' Emily said, sounding surprised. 'I was going to ring you.'

'You - you were?' Ross asked surprised in his turn. 'Well, er, that's great. You were going to call me at the same time I was going to call you, and I'm the one to call first.'

'Yes, you were,' Emily said. There was a silence and then she asked. 'Why?'

'Why what?' Chandler and Joey, who were as close to the phone as possible, listening in, were nudging him.

'Why did you call?' she asked.

'I-I just wanted to hear your voice.' The sound of her voice was doing funny things to him. If only it was possible to make things work out. He realised, yet again, how much he missed her.

'Ross, it's over - isn't it?' She was sounding uncertain at her end. Ross couldn't help feeling a surge of wild unreasonable hope. He turned his back on Chandler and Joey who were making faces at him.

'It doesn't have to be,' he said. How, he didn't have a clue, but he was saying it anyway. He was homeless, he was broke, he needed his friends more than ever but he'd figure something out. If only there was a way.

'We've had this conversation before,' Emily said, sounding upset, 'Don't do this to me. It's not going to work if you insist on seeing that woman.' That brought him back to reality. There they were again and however much he missed her, he had not changed his mind. She wouldn't trust him. He was about to launch into a diatribe about her lack of trust when another jab from Joey reminded him of what he was supposed to be talking about.

'Emily we can make it work,' Ross said. 'I'll do everything you want if you'll just come.' Joey and Chandler had made it around to the front of him and were nodding enthusiastically. 'I can't stand the thought that I'll never see you again.' Joey gave him a big thumbs up sign.

'You do - Everything?' Emily asked.

'You mean more to me than anyone. I'll stop seeing my friends -'

'You don't have to do that, I only wanted you to stop seeing just one person. Your other friends are fine.'

'I will, so I don't get tempted, I just want you. Just you and me in our own home.'

'You'd do that for me?'

'Yes.' He felt so self conscious at the lie that he turned away from Chandler and Joey again.

'But, we've got nowhere to live. My cousin threw you out and he's let the apartment to someone else,' Emily said.

'That's okay sweetie because guess what, I've just found one,' Ross said.

'That was quick. I thought it was hard to find a place to live in New York.' So she had picked up a few things while she'd been there. He'd have to lie more carefully.

'Well you've got to get lucky sometime,' Ross stumbled. 'So you'll come? Please?'

'I - I don't know.'

'Emily just come to me. We'll make a fresh start,' Ross said.

'Yes,' she said.

'You said yes! You said yes didn't you?' Ross confirmed. Joey and Chandler had again made it around to the fron of Ross and he could see then give each other the thumbs up sign. This was working out much better than they'd hoped.

'Yes,' Emily said.

'I can't believe you said yes, you don't know how much I love you but I'm going to show you -' He had turned away from them again, unable to say these things with them looking at him.

'Ross, I love you too but -'

'But nothing! You love me, I love you.'

'Ross, I can't afford the air fare.'

'What?'

'I can't afford a ticket. I've had to pay my parents back for the wedding. For their share anyway.'

'But they didn't have to pay,' Ross said, 'My father ended up paying for it all.' After Ross had made such a spectacular mess of it all his father had felt obliged to pay for the lot. One day, in the distant future, his father might just forget about it.

'Your father wouldn't pay for everything so I had to pay for the rest,' Emily said.

'How could they ask you that?' Ross asked, shocked. She had very little money of her own, her job didn't pay very much. He knew her parents had grabbed as much from his father as they could, but he was surprised they'd treated their own daughter that way.

'Very easily,' Emily said dryly.

'Oh sweetie,' Ross said.

'So I'm stuck,' Emily said. 'And - and Dad wouldn't lend me any money to come out and see you. He thinks I shouldn't see you again.' The whole point of this was for her to fly out and Ross said, without hesitation.

'I'll pay for your ticket.' Joey and Chandler stared at each other and then shrugged. 'I'll book the ticket from this side and I'll call you back with the details and where you can pick it up.' He turned back to look at the telephone book and now completely entangled in telephone cord fell over.

'Ross? Ross, what's happened?' Emily asked as he crashed to the ground. At least he hadn't been cut off.

'I'm all right sweetie,' he said. 'I just fell over.'

'Fell over? How did you do that?' Emily asked, 'Are you really all right?'

'I'm fine, just falling for you again,' he joked.

'I hope you're not ill,' Emily said.

'No, no, I'm fine really it's just an accident. I'll get your ticket and call you back, don't go away from the phone.'

Joey and Chandler waited for him to finish off the conversation before exploding.

'Wow,' Joey said, 'And I thought I was an actor. You were great man. Maybe you should leave the dinosaurs and get into showbiz.' Ross shook his head. Very little of that had been acting. It had all been a lot harder on him than he'd thought.

'Really convincing,' Chandler said. Ross said,

'I'm just feeling bad that I lied to her.'

'Think of the long term,' Chandler said. 'A share in one million dollars. Like I said before, everyone's going to be happy in the end.'

'The only thing is, he's got to buy her a ticket,' Joey said. The three of them looked at each other. Ross said,

'I'm nearly maxed out but I think I've got enough for this.' The airfare would take him to his limit.

'Great,' Joey said. 'As soon as you get the flight details I'll let my friend know.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Million dollar 3**

Feeling very pleased with themselves, Joey and Chandler dragged Ross, who just seemed to want to mope at the apartement, to Central Perk. Joey and Chanlder took it in turns to tell the girls about their bright idea.

'And you've done all this?' Monica asked.

'Yes, it's all taken care of, the ticket's been booked, she's coming, we've spoken to Joey's friend,' Chandler said, 'You should have heard Ross talking to Emily. He was amazing, I had no idea he could act so well.'

'Academy award,' Joey said. 'He was so convincing, no wonder she said yes. _I_ was gonna say yes.' Monica wasn't so sure. She knew her brother still loved Emily. It had only been a few days since the marriage had broken up. It was all very well for Joey who seemed to be able to switch his heart on and off at will - if he ever really let it get in danger at all.

'What did you talk about with Emily?' Monica asked with concern. Rachel and Phoebe leaned forward.

'I just pretended I was going to do everything she asked.' Ross sighed. 'It was weird, saying all the stuff I decided I'd never say. I felt so bad. I was lying to her and it felt like I was betraying you all over again.' He glanced at Rachel briefly when he said this. She gave him an encouraging smile.

'Poor Ross,' Phoebe said.

'And the weird thing was, she said she was going to call me,' Ross said.

'She was going to call you?' Monica looked sharply at Chandler and Joey. If Emily was ringing because she had suddenly become more reasonable, and this plan by being an elaborate lie threatened a reunion, she would not be happy with them.

'Yeah. She said she had something to say to me but she said it could wait.'

'Something to say?' Monica said.

'Yeah,' Ross said with what Monica thought was an appalling lack of curiosity.

'What?' she demanded.

'I don't know. She wouldn't say. I guess it can wait, whatever it is.' The three girls looked at each other. What it could it possibly be? This had obviously aroused no suspicions in the guys but Monica, Rachel and Phoebe were all thinking the same thing.

'Omigod,' Rachel said.

'Wow,' Phoebe said.

'No, it can't be,' Rachel said incredulously.

'Well you know...' Monica said.

'True,' Rachel said.

'I'll have to give her some advice. I've got all these old baby clothes,' Phoebe said.

'What?' Chandler asked. Monica was staring at him.

'Well what do you think it could be? She's won an Oscar?' Monica asked 'She didn't say she'd had a change of heart about everything. She must be pregnant.' Ross stared.

'No.'

'Is it impossible?' Monica countered.

'Well, no, it's not impossible but, but wouldn't she have said so before?'

'You can only tell someone you're pregnant once you know you're pregnant,' Monica pointed out. 'If she's only just found out, then she wouldn't have told you before.'

'We don't know that she's pregnant,' Chandler said.

'Okay, but what if she is?' Monica asked, 'We have to think about that.'

'Why?' Joey asked.

'Joey if she's pregnant it changes everything,' Monica said. 'She and Ross will have so much to work out. They'll have to get back together no matter what issues they've got between them. They'll have to work them out not - ' she was going to say "give up" but continued instead, 'She can't go back home to have the baby on her own. Ross will never see the baby. That just can't happen.' It was bad enough that Ben didn't live with him.

'Where am I going to put a wife and baby?' Ross asked. He hardly had a place to put himself. They all looked at each other.

'If she wins a million dollars it won't be a problem,' Joey said.

'If?' Ross demanded, 'It had better not be _if_ Joey. I've just told her a whole lot of stuff that isn't true. If she's out here because that and pregnant-'

'Ross it's a cert,' Joey said, 'No problem, no problem at all.'

'We're glad to hear it. If she finds out Ross has been telling lies,' Chandler said, avoiding Ross's sudden glare, 'and there's no money either, she might jump on the next plane to London.'

'That wouldn't be a problem if she wasn't pregnant,' Joey said with a shrug.

'But if she is,' Monica said, 'Then Ross won't be able to see his child.' There was no way they could allow that to happen.

'So what do we do? I mean if we knew she was pregnant we could make plans,' Chandler said. 'Your parents would help you out with somewhere to live.' Monica and Ross looked at each other. If a grandchild was at stake, that would be true, but they could not ask their parents for help on something that might not even exist. 'You're going to have to have some back up plan.'

'I'm afraid this is going to turn out to be expensive,' Ross said, 'And I've got no more money. I used the last of my money to buy Emily's ticket.'

'She made you pay for her ticket? She bargains hard,' Rachel said. 'What's she like when she arm wrestles you?' Ross shrugged.

'We're both short of money.'

'Well, we can think of something. I can help you out with a deposit,' Monica said, 'Especially if Rachel and Phoebe help me out.' Rachel and Phoebe were both startled.

'Hey Moniica my savings are down at the moment.

'Pregnancy wasn't cheap,' Phoebe nodded, but seeing Monica look desperate she said, 'I might have something I can sell.'

'Me too,' Rachel.

'No, I can't let you sell your things,' Ross said.

'It doesn't matter Ross, we're your friends, we want to help you. And if you're going to get some money out of this you'll be able to pay us back,' Rachel said.


	4. Chapter 4

**Million Dollar 4**

They didn't have much time. Emily was coming in two days and in that time they had to raise an advance payment of $5,000 for Joey's friend. It had been a nasty shock to discover that the friend was not prepared to wait until Emily had claimed her money.

'How does he think we're going to find $5,000?' Chandler said aghast.

'Don't ask me,' Ross said, 'This was all Joey's and your idea.'

'Okay,' Joey said, 'It's okay, we'll get the money.'

'How?' Ross asked sharply. He wanted a solution found before Emily arrived. 'You know that none of us has any money.'

'Borrow it!' Joey said.

'Who's going to lend us money?' Ross asked.

'Oh don't be such a downer,' Joey said.

'No Joey, you haven't thought this one through, we'd have to pay interest even if we did get a loan, which we won't,' Ross said. Goodness knows how much interest they'd have to pay.

'We can pay the interest out of the money you get from Emily,' Chandler said, suddenly reassured. Ross thought that the money he was going to get from Emily was going to have to cover a lot of things.

'I'll speak to this friend of mine - I think he'll be able to help us out.'

'Another friend?' Chandler asked.

'He was this guy I met at an audition - he didn't get the part either. He runs a loans business on the side.'

Ross had had another telephone conversation with her and she had said outright that what she had to say could wait. He couldn't quite bring himself to ask her if she was pregnant.

'So tell me about where we're going to live,' she asked, by way of a change of conversation.

'Oh, it's really nice,' Ross said. He and Monica had hurriedly put a deposit on an apartment. The rent was exorbitant of course but if he didn't need the apartment he wouldn't be paying rent. That did mean that the deposit was also high. Joey had told him to think of the big picture. He could write it off against the money he was going to get from Emily. If it turned out that he needed the apartment, he wouldn't be feeling so bad about things anyway, and they'd have all of Emily's one million dollars to play with.

'Where is it?' Emily asked. It was actually just a few blocks from where the others were. Ross figured that if Emily was pregnant and he needed the apartment he could talk her around. After all, what mother to be doesn't want to know about three potential babysitters just a few blocks away? But he couldn't tell her that.

'Er just two buildings down from where the other apartment was.' He was getting good at lying, he thought with unease. He supposed he could always say, if it came to it, that he was just confused.

'Oh that's good,' Emily said, 'I'm really happy about that,' and Ross felt a stab of annoyance that she hadn't even begun to approach him halfway on this one. Of course he hadn't asked her to. The trouble with playing his role of doormat to her was that he tended to be treated like a doormat.

'Yeah,' he said, 'Look I'd better go.' How anyone was going to be able to afford to pay the phone bill when it fell due was anyone's guess. Then Joey arrived with a huge,

'Hey!'

'Oh Joey's arrived,' Emily said.

'Yeah,' Ross said, 'Joey says hi.' Joey overhearing this, grimaced.

'He might not be so glad to see me this time,' Emily said with a laugh, 'I don't think I'll be able to afford to bring a big bar of chocolate like I did last time.'

'Oh he'll definitely be upset,' Ross said, 'But he'll understand. Bye sweetie, I love you,' he said, hanging up. 'Hi Joey.'

'You were talking about me?' Joey asked.

'She was just saying she wouldn't be bringing you chocolate,' Ross said.'

'Can't you be a bit nicer to her?' Joey asked.

'We've got more important things to think about than chocolate,' Ross said severely. Joey sighed and then shrugged.

'It's great to see you keeping up the good work,' Joey said, 'Not long to go. Where's Chandler?'

'I don't know, he's gone to see the girls about something.'

'Oh,' said Joey in a knowing voice.

'What?' Ross demanded. 'Why are you saying "Oh" like that?'

'Like what?'

'Like, like, you know something that I don't.'

'Well I'm enjoying knowing something you don't for a change, I know what you guys think of me, you think I'm stupid.'

'Er no, Joey,' Ross said, suddenly surprised to find himself appeasing Joey.

'I know what you think. That Joey doesn't know anything.' Joey decided to develop this theme. 'Well dammit! I do! I know lots of things you don't!' Ross took a few steps back.

'Sorry.' Joey's face cleared.

'That's okay, I was just practicing.'

'Right. So what's Chandler seeing the girls for?' Ross asked.

'Oh it will be about raising money,' Joey said hurriedly. Now was not the time to spring on Ross that his sister was in a relationship with his friend. In the warm and happy glow of even a part of a million dollars, his attitude might be a whole lot different.

'I feel so bad about that, this is all my fault.'

'How?'

'Well, if things hadn't gone wrong with Emily we wouldn't be in this mess.'

'If things hadn't gone wrong with Emily she'd be here. We'd have to fly her back out again so that she could fly back in - but yeah you're right it would have been better,' Joey finished. After all, there would only be two people in the apartment...

'Thanks,' Ross said. Joey really knew how to make him feel better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Million Dollar 5**

Emily stared out the window at the wonderland of the clouds. She was nervous about this trip. She had only told one friend she was going at all. Everyone else had been told she was going to Edinburgh to meet up with an old school friend. The friend she had told her real plans to had tried to talk her out of going but she had insisted. Even if it turned out that the reunion with Ross was a failure, she still had something to tell him. It was important that he knew.

The air hostess asked her if she wanted something to drink. Emily declined and stared back out the window. So many changes in so short a time. She didn't care about giving up wine but she really wanted some brie on a cracker and she couldn't have that either. She had had no idea there were so many things she couldn't eat but it would all be worth it in the long run. She shifted in her seat and rubbed her belly gently, closing her eyes.

How would Ross take the news? Emily couldn't be certain. It was all so unexpected. She herself had been shocked when she found out two days ago. Then of course she had to tell Ross at once, no matter how things were between them. It was weird that he had called her at the same time that she had called him. She had never expected him to call her. She wondered about that. You shouldn't give people ultimatums unless you were going to follow through. He'd done that, and she'd taken him seriously, everyone had taken him seriously, and even though it had only been a few days she was already emotionally on the way to separation. Then he'd called and she'd had her news... She decided to wait until seeing him before telling him, seeing that he wanted her to come anyway. How was it going to change things between them? She found herself feeling unsettled. She really didn't know what she thought of it all herself. Is it good news or bad news?

It was after she had returned from a dash for the toilets, mercifully free that she found someone on the plane with her.

'Hey, it's Emily isn't it?' The good looking American sat beside her in the empty seat. She stared back at him. She'd seen him before but she couldn't remember his name... 'Joshua,' he said kindly.

'Rachel's boyfriend.' _Ex,_ she remembered. Why hadn't Rachel been satisfied with him? He was really good looking. Then she remembered that Joshua had dumped Rachel and that had left her free to come sniffing around after Ross. Looking at Joshua's innocent face she couldn't bring herself to tax him with this. How was anyone to know the consequences of their actions further down the line? It was Ross who had behaved badly, not Joshua. And maybe he had good reasons for getting rid of Rachel. If Rachel still had a thing for Ross, that would have been a good reason. Why should Joshua have taken the risk with his heart on Rachel.

'We first met at your going away party.' Oh that. And in a flash she saw it all. Emily had been too full of the sadness of leaving Ross for good, or so she had thought then, to wonder why the party had been organised. Rachel had organised it - but why would Rachel organise that for her? She hadn't, she'd done it for Joshua. That was why she'd dressed like a trollop, so as to get him to notice her. The only person who had noticed her was that creepy coffee shop owner Gerhardt or Gunter or something. 'Except you didn't, at least not for good,' Joshua smiled. 'So when are you getting married?' Emily wasn't wearing her ring, the ring she'd stopped thinking of as hers. She wouldn't put it back on unless she resolved things with Ross.

'We haven't set a date yet,' she improvised. That was probably the best compromise she could make under the circumstances.

'Well you don't want to rush into things,' Joshua said, 'It's a big mistake.' He could say that again. She remembered now that she had heard that he had been married before although apparently Rachel wasn't involved in the trouble there.

'No, we won't rush.'

'Ross is a lucky guy, I thought so at the party.'

'You did?' Emily blurted out, surprised. She couldn't remember him taking any particular notice of her then - but maybe she wasn't in any condition to notice another man. As for him, wasn't he supposed to be getting the eyeful of Rachel that she'd been so keen to give him? Joshua laughed,

'Oh I am I being a bit forward? It's safe though isn't it with you being spoken for, as it were?' he said. Her head reeled. 'But you're nice.' Emily decided that he had taken up the air hostess's offer of a drink.

'Well,' said Emily wanting to satisfy her curiosity. 'What went wrong with you and Rachel? If that's not too forward?'

'She was too full on,' Joshua said, 'I liked her but it turned out she was a bit of a psychobunny. She asked me to marry her and we'd only been seeing each other a few days.' He gave a shudder. 'Can you believe that?'

'Marry you?' Emily asked in surprise. A few weeks was one thing, a few days was something else.

'I have a feeling it wasn't me, it was the ring she was after.' Emily wondered about the timing of that proposal. Joshua continued, 'It's a big step for you, coming to marry someone in a foreign country. I think you're very brave.'

'Well it's not that foreign.' But something told Emily that it was. Its foreignness was something she noticed at every turn.

'Common language but so many differences. I've moved over to London for the next few years,' Joshua said, 'And it's going to take some getting used to.'

'You've relocated?'

'Yeah. Business reasons. I don't know if you know but I used to be married. I got my divorce around the time that I was seeing Rachel - not that she was the cause of it or anything, it was over before I started seeing her,' he added. Well at least that was one marriage Rachel didn't wreck, Emily thought. 'When the divorce came through I just wanted to get out of New York. I thought I could do with a change.'

'How do you like the change?'

'So far so good,' he said and they talked about London, places to live and places to visit. She discovered that he hadn't been to any of the Art Galleries. 

'You really should go to the Tate,' Emily said.

'Maybe you can show me when you get back. It's more fun looking at painting with someone else.'

'All right,' Emily said. She didn't know if she would be going back but she wrote his number down anyway and gave him hers, for what that was worth. 'Why are you coming to New York?' she asked. 'Is it family?'

'No. My parents are actually on a holiday in Sweden. I have to go to New York to sign a contract. As soon as I'm done, I'm going back.'

'As soon as you're done?'

'I'm only going to be in New York for a few hours. I'm not getting out of the airport.'

'Oh, that's awful.'

'I know, but I've got to be back in London for another contract.' Joshua shook his head. 'At least you get to stay a while.' Emily shrugged. She might be back on the next plane. It all depended on how Ross took the news. In her purse she had enough for her airfare back. Her disapproving friend had insisted that she have the money and keep it only for her return flight. Her disapproving friend didn't know the news. Emily knew exactly what she would have said if she had known.

'No?' Joshua asked.

'I don't know,' Emily confessed. She didn't want to say any more.

'I'm sorry to hear that,' Joshua said. 'Ross must be a very stupid man, if things are like that.' Tactfully he changed the subject but as he returned to his seat he said,

'Give me a call when you get back to London. I'd like to see a friendly face.' She nodded, her thoughts already on the impending meeting with Ross.


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: This is the final instalment, longer than usual because it all seems to belong together and also I want to pick up Revenge of the Exes_

**Million Dollar 6**

Today was the day Emily was arriving. Ross could remember every other time that he'd been at the airport, waiting for her plane. Previously the waiting had been impatient - part of the reason it had been so important to marry Emily was that he'd never have to do this again - or at least, not so often. Presumably she would have visited her family from time to time but that wouldn't have happened all that much.

This time he wasn't so sure how he felt about her arrival. He wanted her plane to be delayed or something - but then he wanted the meeting as soon as possible as well. If she was pregnant he wanted to know at once. If she was going to be mad at him he wanted to wait.

He glanced at Monica. Everyone was waiting with him in the arrivals area - everyone except Rachel. Rachel hadn't wanted to be left behind.

'You said you weren't going to give in to her demands,' Rachel had warned him. No matter what lies he had told Emily. So Rachel was not going to be left out.

Everyone agreed though, that Emily must not see Rachel as soon as she saw Ross. With Emily's propensity to run off, the last thing they wanted was for her to cut and run. Joey said to Chandler privately that if she did and got run over and killed by a car that might be the best solution of all because Ross would inherit the whole of the million dollars. Chandler decided not repeat this statement to anyone else. Rachel was at the airport but she was hanging out in the Departure lounge. Although each of Monica and Phoebe volunteered to keep her company Rachel could tell that they were dying to see what happened when Emily arrived and said she would wait alone.

The others meanwhile had been coaching Ross.

'Make sure you find out what her news is first,' Monica instructed. 'Don't get carried away.' If Emily was pregnant, they would take her to Ross and Monica's parents and let her get softened up by their reactions over the pregnancy. They'd give her a day or two and then spring it on her that the apartment she was living in was not far from everyone else's and that Rachel was not going to be excluded. Monica thought it very unlikely that Emily would leave Ross after that, even if she didn't like it, because their reunion would have given them a chance to remember the things that brought them together, and besides, there would be the baby to consider.

If she wasn't pregnant, then Ross would come clean. Maybe, after seeing him again, she might be more reasonable, Monica thought, although whether she _would_ be more reasonable after finding out about the lies was questionable. That was the risk that they were taking - but if it was not for the lies she wouldn't be there to persuade anyway.

They weren't just tense about the meeting with Emily. Each of them now owed a lot of money, more than they could afford with a bill of $5,000 coming from Joey's friend. Chandler and Monica had had a lot of fun picking out which items of jewellery Monica could sell to raise money but Monica would like to have the chance to redeem some of that jewellery. Chandler would certainly not be able to buy her replacements for a while. A long while.

'What if she doesn't win?' Ross asked, yet again.

'We wouldn't pay him,' Joey said.

'And we'd get a refund of the other $5,000?' Ross queried.

'Sure,' Joey said.

'I hope so,' Ross said, 'Your other friend's interest rate was pretty steep. We're going to be in big trouble if we can't pay it off quickly.'

'Hey it's not bad at short notice!' Joey said, 'Stop worrying. Go to the bathroom.'

'Why?'

'You're shifting around like you need to go.'

'I don't.'

'Go anyway,' Joey said.

'I just feel a bit nervous that's all.'

'Relax,' Joey said, 'It'll be fine.'

'It's not you she's going to be mad at if she hates what's going on,' Ross said. He turned to Monica, 'Do I look okay?'

'Of course you do,' Monica said. She'd answered this question several times already, 'Just relax, as much as you can. Be as nice as possible even if she's bad to you.'

'Why?' Joey interrrupted.

'Because even if Ross can claim money from her in a divorce settlement she can still make things difficult for him,' Monica said.

'Oh,' Joey said.

'Divorce has been known to be difficult,' Monica said patiently.

'Why is it taking so long?' Ross asked. They had been waiting a long time. Emily's plane had touched down more than an hour ago. It was hard to tell which of the stream of passengers exiting the arrivals gate had come from that flight but some of them must have come through by now.

'They're not going to let her out immediately if she's just won a prize,' Chandler said, 'There'll be press photographers and things to sign and all kinds of stuff. They're not just going to shove a cheque in her hand and say "here you are, don't spend it all in one shop."'

Finally she came through the arrivals gate, looking bewildered.

'Ross!'

'Emily!' They stood looking at each other, Emily clutching her hand luggage. Emily looked past him at the others and Ross knew she was looking for the one who wasn't there.

'Hello,' she said to them all, sounding wary.

'Hi Emily,' they chorused back, wondering what was the matter with Ross and Emily. Wasn't this the big reunion scene? Was she being a reserved Englishwoman? Was Ross having trouble acting? Finally they approached each other for a tentative hug.

'I'm sorry I'm late, something very strange has just happened to me,' Emily said, breaking the hug awkwardly. 'Do you mind if we don't just rush off for a cab. I really need to sit down and have a mineral water or something. You're not going to believe this.'

'Sure,' Ross said, 'Whatever you want.' He took her arm, 'There are better cafes in Departures. That's just a short walk away.' He missed Monica's frown. Rachel was in Departures. Monica slipped away to find Rachel.

'All right,' Emily said.

'And Joey can get your luggage,' Ross said.

'It's probably the last one on the carousel,' Emily said. 'It's just one suitcase, thankyou Joey.'

'That'd make it easy for Joey then,' Ross joked. Joey glared at him and raced for the baggage department. He only hoped that Emily had not brought her whole wardrobe with her in a gigantic suitcase. He didn't want to miss a thing.

In Departures, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe and Emily were at a table at an airport bar. It seemed to Phoebe that things hadn't lightened up between Ross and Emily yet. Instead of talking to Ross, Emily was talking to Phoebe, asking her about her pregnancy and childbirth. Gathering information, Phoebe thought, and tried to be as helpful as she could. Hopefully Emily wasn't pregnant with triplets. That was no easy job. Phoebe had noticed that Emily wasn't wearing her ring and wondered why.

'The reason I was delayed,' Emily said, once Phoebe had finished her hospital stories, 'Was that I've won some sort of prize. I've won a million dollars just for being on this flight.' She shook her head. 'I can't believe it.'

'That's wonderful!' Chandler said in a way that proved that he should not try acting.

'Wonderful!' Phoebe echoed.

'Wow, that's amazing,' Ross said. 'That means there's two reason for champagne if we can get it here.'

'Champagne!' Chandler said and gave the order.

'Not for me thanks,' Emily said.

'But it's a celebration!' Chandler said.

'I don't touch alcohol any more,' Emily said. The others looked at each other.

'Any special reason?' Chandler asked with a smile.

'Do you want us to go away so you can tell Ross in private?' Phoebe asked solicitiously as Joey arrived with Emily's small suitcase.

'Go away?' he exclaimed, 'I've only just arrived.' Monica came up to the table at the same time, having warned Rachel to keep out of sight. Emily frowned.

'Why would I want any of you to go away?'

'To explain why you can't drink,' Phoebe said. 'It's a very special thing to say.'

'What?' Emily stared. 'That I'm detoxing? What's so special about that?' The others stared back.

'You're detoxing?' Monica asked.

'Yes,' Emily said, 'No alcohol, no tea, coffee, dairy products, wheat.'

'It sounds terrible,' Joey said, overcome with horror.

'It's really good you're doing that,' Phoebe said, almost as happy with the news as she would have been with a baby. 'Everyone should detox, once in a while. I'm going to detox soon, but I've got to get my strength back first. I just ate all the wrong things while I was pregnant, I know I did.' Emily nodded.

'I feel so much better already. I should have done this a long time ago.'

'So,' Monica said, 'What is your news?' Everyone else nodded. What _was_ her news?

'Hold on,' Joey said, wanting to be sure, 'You're saying that you're not pregnant?'

'Pregnant?' Emily exclaimed. 'No. Whatever gave you that idea? I'm certainly not pregnant.' The others were looking shifty and Ross said,

'They were just wondering what your news was. They were making guesses.'

'My news?' She stared back at them all. 'Well that _is_ a private matter.' She bit her lip, looking uncertain. She turned to Ross. 'You would tell them all immediately anyway,' she said. 'You know how our wedding became a civil ceremony at the last minute? My father had to get a civil celebrant? Well that man was an imposter and his qualifications weren't fake. The only thing that mattered to my father was that it was cheap. We aren't married.' Emily reached into her bag and pulled out the wedding ring and laid it on the table between them. 'That's why I'm not wearing this, because I'm not really your wife. We don't have to get divorced at all because we were never married.' Emily glanced at Ross's hand. At the last minute they had remembered that he should be wearing a ring. Luckily he'd been able to find his wedding ring, one of the few things that hadn't been sold.

'We weren't married?' Ross asked for confirmation.

'After all that, we weren't married,' Emily said. 'It's all been very strange.' Emily looked at her fingers, interlacing them. 'I thought you'd find that a relief, but then you rang me. I don't mind living with you as though we were married. We could get married in New York. No-one else needs to know that we weren't married in London. If you still wanted to get married. Or perhaps we could just live together, try it out for a while, to make sure.'

'Oh,' Ross said. Chandler suddenly realised the other significance of Emily's news...

'I thought maybe that since you'd said you would -' She left her conditions unspoken. Chandler made frantic hand signals at Ross. _Improvise!_ How, he had no idea, but Ross had to think of something, otherwise their chance at any share of one million dollars would go. A generous minded girlfriend, especially one whom they could persuade to marry Ross as soon as possible could get them out of a lot of trouble. That might mean a more prolonged pretence but something had to be done.

'Emily, I love you,' Ross said, 'But I'm not going to stop seeing my friends. I'm not going to move away from them.' Emily stared.

'But you said you'd moved.'

'I haven't,' Ross admitted. 'I lied to you. I'm living with Joey and Chandler.'

'You lied to me? You lied to me about that woman?' Emily asked in shock. 'You brought me all the way over here with lies? Why?' 

'Because I love you, Emily,' Ross said, 'That's the only reason.'

'If you really loved me you would want to make things work. You wouldn't be so desperate to keep seeing whatshername.'

'Her name's Rachel,' Monica said coldly.

'How could I ever forget?' Emily riposted. 'Ross certainly can't and it seems that he can't keep away from her either even though he claims to love me.'

'It's not that, Emily, she's a friend, that's all,' Ross said.

'I don't believe it,' Emily said. 'If she was just a friend you wouldn't be making such a big deal about it. If you really loved me you wouldn't have a problem with not seeing her.'

'If you loved him you wouldn't do this to him,' Monica rushed in. 'Rachel is one of Ross's friends, you can't take away his friends.' Emily looked at her and said,

'I was prepared to leave my country for him, to start a new life and change everything. I'm only asking him to make one change, to keep out one person. And now I find he's a man who tells barefaced lies.' She picked up her bags. 'I'm going home. Don't you ever dare contact me again, for any reason, you _Liar_.'

Joey and Chandler looked at each other. The account for the next $5,000 was now due, they would owed $10,000 in total at high interest rates. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel were in debt for the deposit. Ross was in debt for Emily's air ticket. No divorce settlement would occur...

'Emily!' But she was walking resolutely away from him. Not by a twitch of the head did she show that she'd heard him. Ross stood up as if to pursue her and Monica laid a hand on his arm.

'Are you going to give in to her, because that's what it would take?' Monica asked. Even then, Ross realised, because of his lies, it would be touch and go. Why had he ever agreed to this? It was goodbye to Emily and hello to heartbreak all over again. What had been point of it all? Just some crazy scheme that he should never have agreed. He should have realised that if Joey agreed to it, there must have been something wrong with it. Technically it was a success but really it was a failure. The stupid champagne had arrived, its frivolous contents mocking him with its false promises of happiness and laughter. He seized the bottle and smashed it on the ground.

_Meanwhile, in another part of Departures..._

Rachel was staring moodily into space. Monica hadn't been able to tell her very much about Emily when she'd found her, and Rachel was dying to know what was happening. Was she or wasn't she? She had been waiting for over an hour. That must mean she was pregnant and that the deception was going to continue a little while longer. She hated that idea, but at least it would be temporary. She hoped that Monica hadn't forgotten her and that she hadn't just been left at the airport.

Suddenly a familiar figure came into view in the departure lounge. Joshua. Her heart skipped a beat. She hadn't seen him for such a long time - or so it seemed to her. How did she really feel about him? If she hadn't had those feelings about Ross, maybe she wouldn't have gone over the top with Joshua. They might still be dating, she realised with a twinge of regret, and having a great time. They might have had a future if she hadn't so clumsily proposed marriage to a bruised newly divorced man. She had scared him off, all because of Ross, who didn't want her. Whatever Monica had said about her confession, at least Rachel knew for sure that she had no chance. She could now focus on other people and not mess things up. Maybe she could go over and say hello...

Then another familiar figure - Emily! Emily! What was she doing here? That must mean she wasn't pregnant, they'd broken the news and she'd stormed off. Rachel couldn't help feeling relieved. Emily would be out of their lives for good - but at least Ross's money problems would be solved. Rachel relaxed. That meant she could go off and find the others. Then she noticed Emily and Joshua were talking and she stopped to watch. They were looking chummy - and to Rachel's horror, Joshua gave Emily a hug. Couldn't she leave any of Rachel's exes alone? And why the hell did her exes like Emily so much? Joshua had let go of Emily and she had turned to pick up the suitcase that had been knocked sideways. By his gaze, Rachel could tell he really liked her.

Rachel turned on her heel and stormed off. Emily wouldn't be smiling when Ross asked her for money over the divorce, Rachel thought.


End file.
